Veneration of our Elders – No Longer in Vogue?

There was a time when it made sense for the young to venerate their elders.  In centuries past, the elders were typically not all that old anyway – maybe between 40 and 60 for the most part.  But they possessed knowledge and life experiences that they could pass on to the young.  The world changed very slowly in those days, if at all.  The skills and experience that one developed over a lifetime were relevant to the next generation.  The young could sit at the feet of the masters and learn.

The modern world is quite different.  The pace of change has become so rapid that even ten years can be enough to make skills or experience obsolete.  Just take a look at an AARP magazine today and the painful efforts it makes to explain technology to aging souls or explain how they can avoid the hackers and phishing expeditions that victimize the hapless oldsters.

 

Physical aging has always diminished the elderly, but the raging juggernaut of today’s technological change is rendering the experience of older adults more or less useless and giving the appearance of mental or intellectual fragility as well. Gen X, Y and Z’ers roll their eyes as boomers or greatest gens attempt to keep up with the latest social media apps or tech devices. It takes about 5 seconds of us tapping clumsily on our virtual keyboards until they grab our smart phones and do the job for us.

 

And even if older adults have non-technology experience that might be valuable - business acumen, negotiating skills, emotional intelligence, etc. – their embarrassingly pathetic skills in technology diminish their stature in the eyes of the young and they may find any other possible expertise they have discounted as well.  Moreover, the style of business and the skills necessary to conduct it are changing in concert with the technology.

 

In 1987 I was running the development, computer and media departments at a rapidly growing Habitat for Humanity.  We had volunteers of all ages coming in to do various tasks either in the office or out on the construction site.

 

One of the volunteers was a late-fifties man who had been a Navy pilot in the Vietnam War and was now retired.  I thought he might enjoy doing some of the computer work. I explained the process to him but he had no experience with computers and was completely perplexed.  I tried working with him but very quickly his self-confidence was shot and he found it impossible to master the techniques.  He was embarrassed and very uncomfortable.

 

Here was a man who had flown bombing missions over Vietnam in a very sophisticated aircraft, one of the most demanding and challenging things one can imagine.  Naval aviators are a very confident and capable group. But the computer world was alien to him and had left him behind.

 

I realized then how easily the changing circumstances of our lives can strip away the veneer of worldliness, competence or sophistication that we pretend to have.  And the last 35 years have confirmed that realization.  

 

Perhaps that is why older adults today are starting to more often cling to their professional lives and put off retirement.  The lure of world travel and weekday golfing may be tempting, but the recognition that one loses one’s relevancy and dignity in the bargain gives one pause.  With retirement likely to last twenty, thirty or even forty years, the thought of sliding further and further into insignificance in the eyes of much of the world is sobering.  Becoming a walking boomer meme and object of eye-rolling amusement is not what we envisioned when we contemplated our golden years.  

 

I know this lament is a bit exaggerated.  Families still generally adore their senior members and children eagerly anticipate visits by or to their grandparents.  Longevity itself has a certain intrinsic value that most people respect or at least appreciate.  The old can fill in the details of the ever-increasing treasure trove of family photos and videos (though the stories may get repeated a bit too often . . .).   The oldest generation provides a sense of continuity and a linkage to the past.  We have a place of some honor in society by virtue of having gone before and made our contributions to family, friends, community and workplace.  We can enjoy our final phase of life even if the technical world laps us several times.