Saturday, July 6, 2019

The Dangerous Allure of the Self-Help Genre


I love reading.  But as I age I find fewer works of fiction that capture my imagination.  I’m not sure why, but I find many of the characters in books one-dimensional and more caricature than character.  And the plots often seem contrived and wearily predictable to me.  Perhaps it is because I have read so many stories over the course of my life and am a bit jaded.  But I can tell pretty quickly whether a book of fiction is going to appeal to me and there are still many that do.

I read a lot of non-fiction, mostly history, science, and other observations of human civilization.  I have enjoyed some of the big picture, trans-discipline books like Guns, Germs and Steel, and Sapiens, though I understand their limitations in terms of accuracy and rigor.  It is very tempting to generalize and draw over-arching conclusions about trends in humankind. 

Even if these constructs are not totally accurate I believe they are instructive and help organize one’s thoughts.  One should never to be too certain about anything.  I believe the ability to accept and live with ambiguity is one of the most important attributes a person can have.

The one area of published works that I assiduously avoid is the self-help genre.  There is something about the shocking presumption of people telling other people how to live their lives that totally alienates me.  I find the great majority of these highly suspect, self-congratulatory tomes to be completely worthless (though admittedly I only briefly skim their contents on occasion).

Human beings are needy creatures and who among us is not beset by various problems or challenges that he or she would like to address?  And thus, we are easy prey for the slick merchandising of the self-help guru, the author who knows just how we feel and is ready to offer his years of experience to rescue us from our sorry state.   

Overweight?  Buy the latest diet fad book!  Want to be wealthier?  Read this book about playing the stock market or investing in real estate!  Stuck in a job you hate?  Grab this book about successful people and their character traits!  Can’t find a mate?   Learn how to be more attractive and desirable in 200 pages!

We are easily seduced by the quick fix, the clever advice from somebody who seems to have it all and is now sharing the secret with less fortunate or astute souls.  No doubt these authors believe they are somehow contributing to society, doing their part for the good of mankind.  And of course, they love to see their names in print and the royalty checks rolling in.

I am suspicious of anyone who really believes they can dispense wisdom or advise others about how to live.  I am ready and willing to listen to a friend’s problems and talk through options, but I would never be so arrogant as to promote my own life experiences and opinions as something that others should mimic.

Every life is a unique journey.  There is no roadmap for happiness, success, love or friendship.  No secret formula for fulfillment.  Those who say they know the answers are charlatans.  Each of us must seek out the information we need to understand ourselves and our desires.  And then we must put into practice those things that will hopefully lead to us being our best and happiest selves.  

But I highly doubt that this will occur through imbibing the much-vaunted elixir of self-help potions or the embrace of other people’s hubris.  It is self-discovery that we seek and that will lead us home, not constructing our life as a disciple of someone else’s fantasy.

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