Empathy

One of the most important human attributes is empathy.  The dictionary definition is ‘the ability to understand and share the feelings of others’.  Empathy is the primary means for people to make progress in resolving their differences.  If you cannot understand what another person is feeling, then it is almost impossible to reach out to them in a way that will bridge the gap.  If you have no empathy, then your only means of interaction is to attempt to dominate or overwhelm your adversary and make them subject to your way of thinking.

Unfortunately, showing empathy is not an accepted attribute of leadership.  Empathy requires an admission of the ambiguity and nuance of human affairs.  Most people are not comfortable with ambiguity.  They crave certainty.  That is why demagogues are so successful.

One of the reasons I have found Obama such an incredibly appealing President and person is that he has a very strong inclination toward empathy.  He does not outright condemn other cultures or countries or even political views, and he tries to put other opinions into perspective and give them respect.  Many people see this as weakness.  They accuse him of going on apology tours and weakening the status of the U.S. in the world.

When people think of a strong leader, they equate strength with absolute conviction and dramatic declarations.  To be sure, when a country is facing a desperate situation and at the brink of destruction, strong leadership of this nature with no hint of doubt or hesitation is necessary.  The belief that any show of softness or empathy would demonstrate weakness and invite more aggression is reasonable and must be considered in such situations.

But leadership in this era of globalization and rapid change is no longer simply a matter of standing strong against an implacable foe. The world is integrated as never before and we can no longer afford to lead by posturing as the world’s only moral nation, as a people who are never wrong and have no weaknesses or failings.  We must acknowledge and comprehend the diversity in this world by empathizing with others, understanding their point of view, even when we do not necessarily agree with it.

We accept and celebrate empathy when it is in a religious leader like the Pope or the Dalai Lama.  But would it not be just as appropriate for a political leader who is engaging with other nations and peoples?  Isn’t it time for these leaders to project a moral and ethical message that is honest and thoughtful? 

Within our own land we see so many missed opportunities for empathy and it is at the core of our fractious political life.  Can I as a progressive not empathize with those who are frightened by the changing fabric of our society, who see their old world disappearing?  Is it so hard to empathize with the plight of those whose jobs have fled overseas and feel anger at the smug attitudes of the so-called liberal elite?  Conversely, can those on the right not empathize with African-Americans who are stymied by intractable poverty and hopelessness, and outraged by the parade of videos clearly showing tragic, unnecessary shootings of unarmed young men?  And can African-Americans not empathize with the incredibly challenging situations that police in urban settings face on a daily basis, whether black or white? 

If people could start with empathy, acknowledging the fears, concerns and hopes of their adversaries, avoiding the simplistic labeling that constructs a deep chasm – racist, elitist, xenophobe, socialist, sexist, radical – and carefully analyze problems with data and an open mind, then perhaps we could get past the entrenched ideological stalemate that seems to have gripped our country.