Vanity, Envy and Competition, Part 4

We have explored how our vanity and insecurity are the yin and yang of our praise addiction.  But how do envy and competition fit into this psychological constellation?

We are all familiar with envy – it is a reflex feeling almost as natural as breathing.  We envy the rich; we envy the famous; we envy the guy next door with the Tesla.  We envy our friends who take exotic vacations, or whose kids are going to better colleges.  We envy people who are taller, or thinner or smarter or more athletic.  We envy our classmates who have risen higher on the corporate ladder.  We envy the guy who gets the pretty girls, or the girl who gets the pretty guys!

Sometimes we are able to talk ourselves out of feeling envious.  Intellectually, we know that the rich are often not very happy, and that money and possessions are not the source of well-being.  But our culture celebrates wealth – the more the better – so our gut reaction is to be envious of those who have it.  And envying physical attributes is another lovely side effect of our cultural baggage.  Perfect bodies and faces stare out at us from every corner of the media and chip away at our self-image.

Is envy a character defect?  Are some people able to overcome the insidious urge to envy by strength of will and confidence in their own accomplishments and life situation?  I suspect that everyone falls prey to envy on a fairly routine basis.  In moments of weakness or uncertainty, at times of depression, at times when we feel that ache of regret for opportunities squandered or lacking, or even just in the routine of daily thought, the temptation to wish for something that others seem to have is poised to creep into our consciousness unsolicited, unwanted and even dreaded.  No one wants to be envious, but we are powerless in the face of so many stimuli that awaken the feeling.

Why is it so difficult for us to be satisfied with our lives? Most of us live like kings compared to much of the world.  We should feel triumphant in the amazing good fortune that has been thrust upon us.  Yet envy is always lurking, ready to poison our hearts in a weak moment.

But perhaps a certain amount of envy is a good thing?  Is envy a precursor to ambition?  Is it envy that seeds our competitive drive and enables us to strive for ever higher goals?  Is it indeed envy that is the engine for human progress?  Or is envy a weakness that corrupts our character and paralyzes us?

To investigate these questions we must go back once again to look at human activity and analyze its motivations.  Human beings are so incredibly diverse in their energy levels and drive.  Some people are in constant motion, with a seemingly inexhaustible ambition to accomplish things.  Others seem permanently lethargic with almost no discernible goal or interest.  Are these innate attributes, or are they the result of our interaction with the world and the way that our ego responds to it?

We observed previously that some part of our lives is focused on the banalities of daily existence – sleeping, eating, basic chores and so on - and some part on pleasurable activities.  A third part is comprised of the endeavors that set us in competition with our fellow human beings – work, sports, education, the arts and many others.

Some of the effort we expend for these activities is certainly motivated by the pure joy of doing them.  But we soon encounter the competitive aspect and our motivations become mixed.  And the more successful we are in these activities, the more the competitive urge dominates.

Are we competitive because we envy the success of others or is there a basic drive independent of envy?  We speak of the competitive urge as though it were an innate quality.  An athlete is a ‘real competitor’.  A successful businessman has ‘a strong competitive instinct’. 

We laud these qualities in our culture.  The more competitive the better.  We develop our children’s competitive nature from their earliest days in sports, games and school, then later in business.  Competition is so integrally bound with praise, vanity and envy that it is almost impossible to isolate the pure quality of competitiveness.

I was recently watching a PBS special on how the chemical elements were discovered.  In interviews or writings of each of the famous scientists it was edifying to note that their initial fascination and activity was prompted by intellectual curiosity, but that their later almost obsessive hard work and tenacity was characterized by a desire to become renowned, to make their mark on the world of chemistry and have their contribution acknowledged by one and all.

It is clear that competition is interwoven with vanity, envy and praise in the complex web of human endeavor.   But it may also be that we are driven to compete by some basic biological imperative for survival and propagation of the species.  Competition has been the engine of human progress, hasn’t it?

But competition also leaves much human misery and heartache in its wake.  Is that inevitable?  Is the world always to be populated by winners and losers?  Is competition necessary to prevent human beings from descending into sloth and indolence?  Or is there an evolutionary process toward cooperation and community that may one day replace competition as the primary motivation for humankind?

That is the question we shall explore in the final segment of Vanity, Envy and Competition.  Stay tuned!