We have explored how our vanity and insecurity are the yin
and yang of our praise addiction. But
how do envy and competition fit into this psychological constellation?
We are all familiar with envy – it is a reflex feeling
almost as natural as breathing. We envy
the rich; we envy the famous; we envy the guy next door with the Tesla. We envy our friends who take exotic
vacations, or whose kids are going to better colleges. We envy people who are taller, or thinner or
smarter or more athletic. We envy our
classmates who have risen higher on the corporate ladder. We envy the guy who gets the pretty girls, or
the girl who gets the pretty guys!
Sometimes we are able to talk ourselves out of feeling
envious. Intellectually, we know that
the rich are often not very happy, and that money and possessions are not the
source of well-being. But our culture
celebrates wealth – the more the better – so our gut reaction is to be envious
of those who have it. And envying
physical attributes is another lovely side effect of our cultural baggage. Perfect bodies and faces stare out at us from
every corner of the media and chip away at our self-image.
Is envy a character defect?
Are some people able to overcome the insidious urge to envy by strength
of will and confidence in their own accomplishments and life situation? I suspect that everyone falls prey to envy on
a fairly routine basis. In moments of
weakness or uncertainty, at times of depression, at times when we feel that
ache of regret for opportunities squandered or lacking, or even just in the
routine of daily thought, the temptation to wish for something that others seem
to have is poised to creep into our consciousness unsolicited, unwanted and
even dreaded. No one wants to be
envious, but we are powerless in the face of so many stimuli that awaken the
feeling.
Why is it so difficult for us to be satisfied with our
lives? Most of us live like kings compared to much of the world. We should feel triumphant in the amazing good
fortune that has been thrust upon us.
Yet envy is always lurking, ready to poison our hearts in a weak moment.
But perhaps a certain amount of envy is a good thing? Is envy a precursor to ambition? Is it envy that seeds our competitive drive
and enables us to strive for ever higher goals?
Is it indeed envy that is the engine for human progress? Or is envy a weakness that corrupts our
character and paralyzes us?
To investigate these questions we must go back once again to
look at human activity and analyze its motivations. Human beings are so incredibly diverse in
their energy levels and drive. Some
people are in constant motion, with a seemingly inexhaustible ambition to
accomplish things. Others seem permanently
lethargic with almost no discernible goal or interest. Are these innate attributes, or are they the
result of our interaction with the world and the way that our ego responds to
it?
We observed previously that some part of our lives is
focused on the banalities of daily existence – sleeping, eating, basic chores
and so on - and some part on pleasurable activities. A third part is comprised of the endeavors
that set us in competition with our fellow human beings – work, sports,
education, the arts and many others.
Some of the effort we expend for these activities is
certainly motivated by the pure joy of doing them. But we soon encounter the competitive aspect
and our motivations become mixed. And
the more successful we are in these activities, the more the competitive urge
dominates.
Are we competitive because we envy the success of others or
is there a basic drive independent of envy?
We speak of the competitive urge as though it were an innate
quality. An athlete is a ‘real
competitor’. A successful businessman
has ‘a strong competitive instinct’.
We laud these qualities in our culture. The more competitive the better. We develop our children’s competitive nature from
their earliest days in sports, games and school, then later in business. Competition is so integrally bound with
praise, vanity and envy that it is almost impossible to isolate the pure
quality of competitiveness.
I was recently watching a PBS special on how the chemical
elements were discovered. In interviews
or writings of each of the famous scientists it was edifying to note that their
initial fascination and activity was prompted by intellectual curiosity, but
that their later almost obsessive hard work and tenacity was characterized by a
desire to become renowned, to make their mark on the world of chemistry and
have their contribution acknowledged by one and all.
It is clear that competition is interwoven with vanity, envy
and praise in the complex web of human endeavor. But it may also be that we are driven to
compete by some basic biological imperative for survival and propagation of the
species. Competition has been the engine
of human progress, hasn’t it?
But competition also leaves much human misery and heartache
in its wake. Is that inevitable? Is the world always to be populated by
winners and losers? Is competition
necessary to prevent human beings from descending into sloth and
indolence? Or is there an evolutionary
process toward cooperation and community that may one day replace competition
as the primary motivation for humankind?
That is the question we shall explore in the final segment
of Vanity, Envy and Competition. Stay
tuned!
