Vanity, Envy and Competition Part 3

We have talked about how vanity and insecurity are the poles of our daily wrestling with our ego, and about how our unquenchable thirst for praise drives it all.  We are creatures that need to be loved, and we can only imagine being loved if we are praiseworthy.

But what about unconditional love?  Doesn’t almost every religion and every self-help philosophy stress the concept of unconditional love or self-worth?  Aren’t we told that we are beautiful creatures who deserve to be loved regardless of our faults and weaknesses, independent of our achievements, wealth and fame?  Of course we are, but do we believe it?

How can we possibly believe it when we are assaulted on every front by the merciless score keeping of the culture around us?  Intellectually and rationally we may convince ourselves in a quiet moment that the world’s values are wrong, that we should be content with our lives and ourselves, that God loves us equally.  But the reassuring tranquility of that moment vanishes in a heartbeat when the long-cultivated habits of our striving are awakened by a simple pretentious comment from an acquaintance or a quick perusal of one’s class notes in a college alumni magazine.

Expressing one’s vanity is sometimes viewed very positively.  We call it self-confidence.  But there is a fine line between self-confidence and arrogance.  An athlete can be a little bit ‘cocky’, but too much is considered bad form.  The line has been drawn ever farther on the side of cockiness since Muhammad Ali declared to anyone who would listen (and isn’t it amazing how we all did!) that he was the greatest.  I remember the old bromide ‘no brag just fact’, which supposedly justified bragging when one was truly capable.  But why brag even then?  Who really cares and what is one accomplishing?

Expressions of cockiness and other less attractive forms of braggadocio seem mostly to reek of insecurity and a desperate need for praise.  In our society bragging has been elevated to an art form, often best described as pretentiousness.  Its subtleties are mastered over a lifetime, though it is a skill that in the end gives only the most tenuous of pleasures and often leaves one feeling disgusted with oneself.

But we also prize humility, which is in itself a very elusive quality.  The minute we seek humility, it often eludes us.  For in seeking humility we may succumb to the temptation of feeling superior to others who are not so humble!  One of my favorite joke-illustrations is the story of the two priests praying at the altar in the church.  The senior priest prays out loud ‘Have mercy upon me, Lord, I am nothing . . .’.  The younger priest, much affected by the older priest’s humility cries out ‘And have mercy upon me, Lord, for I too am nothing’.  In the back of the church, a janitor who has witnessed the prayers of these great men of God falls to his knees and joins in ‘And upon me, Lord, for I am also nothing.’   The younger Priest looks at the older Priest, rolling his eyes and says ‘Look who thinks he’s nothing!’

The quality of true humility must be almost an unconscious attribute, or at least one must be exceedingly careful in adorning oneself with it.  Vanity often cloaks itself with humility.  If the quest for humility is to avoid the endless sparring of social bragging and to pull away from all the nonsense of comparisons, then it is indeed a ‘consolation devoutly to be wished’.  But beware, soon your friends will be describing you as humble.  Then you may find that you are inwardly thrilled to be praised in such a manner and make the sad discovery that your humility has fled!

Demagoguery, Anger and Politics

I have often wondered what it was like to live in Germany during the late 1920’s and early 1930’s, to see the tentacles of Nazism wrap themselves around daily life and begin to control all social and political discourse.  We see Hitler and his henchmen as such evil and detestable characters today that it is difficult for us to imagine how they could have seized power in one of the most educated and sophisticated countries in the world.

Was Hitler a ridiculous figure at first to most people?  Did everyone find his ravings amusing and good fodder for parody?  At what point did people become aware that his following was growing rapidly and that his brown shirts were a real and terrifying force?  Did ordinary people shrug their shoulders and acknowledge that Hitler had tapped into a deep anger and frustration, never thinking that he might actually force his way into the halls of power?  At what point did they begin to realize that this was not just humorous political theater?

Donald Trump leads the polls for the Republican nomination.  When he announced his candidacy, politicians on the left and right smiled patronizingly and predicted that he would provide good entertainment, but certainly no serious threat.  Recently, Jeb Bush acknowledged that Trump was ‘tapping into anti-establishment anger’, but his campaign staff is apparently delighted by Trump’s strong showing, believing that the more successful and poisonous Trump is, the more Jeb will be cast as the ‘serious’ antidote candidate.

What is all this anger about anyway?  Political issues have always sparked emotional responses, but the anger and the paranoia these days seem to be at fever pitch.  Are people angry about the economy, about slow job growth?  Well, certainly the economy could be better and there are not enough middle class jobs, but the economy doesn’t seem to be in the kind of horrible shape that would cause deep anger.  Is the anger all about our foreign affairs?  Does anyone think there are easy answers to the morass of international issues any administration faces?  Perhaps the anger is about social issues - gay rights, promiscuity, religion or abortion?  Or perhaps about the changing face of America – the immigration of Hispanic, Asian and African people, legal or illegal.  But all of this seems manageable, not justifying the very visceral anger that seems to lurk under the surface across America.

It is almost as though people enjoy being angry, even about issues that are abstractions and far removed from their daily lives and pleasures; that there is an insidious temptation to look for the dark side and revel in rumors of plots, conspiracies and apocalyptic events.  I have seen blogs and comments that indicate an unfeigned joy at the thought of armed struggle in the United States.  Over what?!!

I suspect that identifying with a demagogue and his or her associated causes is a way to find meaning in an otherwise banal and uneventful life.  It is a means to deflect self-hatred or regret and to aim this energy and fury at perceived enemies.   It is also a way to escape the relentless change that our society is undergoing and the huge effort required, both intellectual and emotional, for people to adjust – the change in our cultural identity, the change in technology, the change in sexual mores, the change in employment models, etc. etc.

It seems alarmist to worry about a Nazi type of demagoguery and anger taking hold in the U.S. today.  We have a long history of peaceful political dialogue that resists violence even when tempers and passions are at meter pegging levels.  But is it really that far-fetched?  It is difficult to discern whether Donald Trump is a harmless buffoon or a dangerous megalomaniac.  People who are so certain of themselves and so unwilling to accept ambiguity and nuance in the world are unpredictable.

I take comfort in the fact that most likely Donald Trump will self-destruct in the coming months and be recognized by the good American people for the blowhard that he is.  But there is just enough charisma in the man and just enough wingnuts in the land to make one wonder whether this could be the beginning of a very strange and very frightening odyssey.